Boogers

That's what I said. Boogers, slime, gelled waste that beckons from the tiny nose hole for a tiny finger. I ask, "What are you doing?" only to be answered with a "huh?" and glazed over eyes. I wonder sometimes if they are really picking brain cells since they never seem to realize their finger is still in their nose as they answer me. Aahh, that's why some people never stop!

Hand Washing

It's amazing! I could ask, "Did you draw on the table?" "Yeah", he says with a smile. "Did you pull her hair?" "Yep!", he gleefully responds. Oh but if I ask, "Did you wash your hands?" "Yeeaaah!", he lies as he tries to flee the bathroom at sonic speed. Amazing! What is it about water that makes a liar out of tiny people. They lie to me about playing in it and lie to me about using it. Next comes the feeble attempt of sticking two fingers under the faucet for a second and then wasting three feet of paper towels drying them. IF soap makes an appearance, it is only on one palm and promptly washed off like an iceberg slipping into the ocean. Scrubbing? Scrubbing is too hard! The irony is too much. If I gave them a bucket of soapy water and a scrub brush, everything in sight would be scrubbed...twice. 

Twisting the Truth

An old game pops into my head for this next one. A line of people sit down and one person whispers something into another's ear. Object is for the statement to come out the same on the other end. Does it ever? Nope. I think it is more because of that one "funny" kid that figures it would be hilarious to mess things up than the lack of short term memory. 

Little ones, they cut out the middle man and twist the story to their liking without shame and in clear ear-shot of me. I guess they forget I exist as they walk across the room with a deviant look of "you're going to get your comeuppance" on their face.